After six years in development and production, SHOOTING THE PRODIGAL is complete. I hope it is the first of many from Belltower Pictures, the non-profit film company we launched in 2012 with the mission to “entertain, inspire and tell great stories that reveal spiritual truth.”
Right now we’re sharply focused on distribution and marketing plans for the film. There will be announcements about premiere & release dates, strategic partners and other news in the coming weeks.
I will use this blog to share some of the stories from the journey. And I also want to engage you in conversation around the themes in the film, the most prominent of which are acceptance and inclusion.
But I want to restart after this long blogging hiatus by making a confession – I struggle with fear. It started with a case of postpartum depression after we finished principal photography in July. It built as we moved through post-production. Now as we deal with the details of marketing and distribution, it has grown into a full-scale battle.
Fear of failure. Fear that the film’s story will not resonate with the audience. Fear that it won’t find an audience at all. Fear that my best efforts are not good enough. Fear that what I thought was God’s call into this venture was not God at all, but rather my ego and delusion. Fear that the money will run out before we finish the job. Fear that I’ll fail my family, friends, colleagues, and everyone who has invested time, energy, passion and money into this project.
Sometimes the fear is paralyzing. My sweet and patient wife often must endure my sullen moping.
Throughout the gospels, Jesus says, “Fear not.” And there are Paul’s comforting words in Philippians 4:6-7 – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
It is often the Psalms that offer me strength to move forward. Psalm 13 in particular encompasses both my gut-wrenching pain and the relief I seek…
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord ’s praise,
For he has been good to me.